Session 63: Pure Grade Wizard Bullshit

Y: Well, I said everything I had to say, and you know that. M: You know this isn't just coming from me, it's not that simple. (long pause) Y: I know. Look, just give me a little time to think about it. M: Time? You can have all the time you want, it's been 30 years, what's another day or 2. Let's have some food with your friends. It won't be that bad…
 * Boon items!
 * Sarienne: Belt of Physical Perfection +2
 * Vikrit: The Brave Gnome Yaniel’s Faultless Headgear
 * Vesun: Manticore Skin Boots
 * Vanesse: Colossus Ring
 * Tork: Lesser Belt of Perfect Components
 * Mogen: Sharp Eye
 * We pick up right outside the party.
 * Michaelangelo invites us to come to his place, saying the night is still young. Vesun picks up that Yanger seems tense about it. (He does not seem to like his nickname, 'Algi'.) Michaelangelo sprinkles a circle of ash on the ground, which Mogen can tell is a dimensional travel spell to 'Michaelangelopolis' or 'Michaelangelo's Place'.
 * Mogen takes off her iron leg and hides it in her chair as she goes in; Vesun and Vikrit are reluctant but also don't want to leave Yanger alone with him given that we won't be able to communicate across planes. Sarienne insists that the Thieves' Guild of Marketplace join us, and we all go through.
 * Mogen starts screaming in 'pain' re: her leg being lost in transit; Michaelangelo is confused and Yanger charges over. Michaelangelo laughs hard when she reveals the trick, and Yanger looks kind of hurt. Vikrit asks where we actually are and he offers an unhelpful explanation. We see an orcish looking man with 6 arms and 2 legs peeking around the corner.
 * Michaelangelo orders him (Vinnings) to take our coats and goes inside with Yanger.
 * Vikrit thinks Vinnings smells alive but not like a half-orc. Kalti is super excited and reminds us that M's one of the Twelve. Vikrit asks Kalti what his specialty is, and he points out the extra limbs and says he helped House Cannith with creating Warforged. As we talk, he has an emotional moment thanking us for helping show him the world.
 * Mogen comes over and says hello to Vinnings, who stutters a lot, and says he's 'from here' and has always been here. He seems not to have any real concept of the outside world and says M's a good boss and powerful wizard then goes inside.
 * We all head inside.
 * There is a grick (snakelike creature) playing piano and a ton of very wizardly décor all over the walls. Vinnings asks us not to bother the entertainers. Vanesse directly asks him what his deal is, and he says he's a servant and does whatever Michaelangelo tasks him with.
 * Vesun and Kalti look over the books. Most of them are related to dimensional travel, organized by plane; it's a much better library than what we've been to, and there's a lot of rare stuff. Vesun starts reading a book about Fernia: everything is fire, so we'll need heat and fire protection. Any fire magic will automatically boosted but most things are resistant. Gravity is relatively normal compared to the material plane, and water magic is impeded. There are unintelligent and intelligent fire elementals, fire giants, salamanders there.
 * He notes that the books are fully clean--no notes written in them.
 * Jerome pulls Sarienne aside and asks if we're friends with M, and Sarienne tells them to follow our lead. Baylock asks excitedly if they're casing the joint, with Giggs eyeing valuables, and she tells them no.
 * Mogen heads into a side room and finds an 8-foot stuffed chicken sitting at a dining table. Mogen asks where Yanger and M went, and Vikrit locks on to them with another natural 20--they're outside. Vikrit listens at the door:
 * M: You know, this was always going to happen.
 * They come back in and Vikrit pretends to be examining the chicken. He asks what the chicken is and M says it's an antique, and not to touch it. Vikrit is offended and says he hasn't touched anything, and M starts brushing it. He asks Vikrit about Mogen and her leg and chair, and says they should talk over dinner, then asks him to summon the Sharks.
 * Mogen, trying to find her way back, stumbles into a homunculus ("David"), 3-foot tall, and introduces Shimmer to it. It reacts with fear and tells her to get out of its pantry and that it needs to cook.
 * Michaelangelo says he wasn't expecting company and he wasn't expecting to have this many guests; he usually just has his 'creations' there and they're currently making us dinner.
 * He offers us drinks and asks us about our history with Yanger and journeys to the other planes. We say it hasn't been voluntary and he goes on a rant about needing to be the 'driver' and not 'passengers'. Tork asks about how to travel the planes ourselves and when he pulls out his 'spellbook'.
 * Mogen asks about fire protection and he mentions cloaks of fire resistance, potions. He says 'you should be a driver but you will have to 'go with the flow', but the rules are different. Mogen says we need to be more like "sailors" and he likes this. She then asks about bringing the airship to Fernia, and he says there are considerations but it's theoretically possible.
 * Meanwhile, Vesun discusses the books with Kalti and what knowledge he's trying to fill in; he says the guardian of the manifest zone is definitely a fire giant (and something about a volcano), but navigating there is likely to be challenging.
 * Mogen tells Michaelangelo we're heading to Fernia and we've been granted access to the Holds. He says he's been to the plane of fire, the tricky thing is that it's hard to get to. Mogen turns a little red when he asks if she knows about dwarven politics and hems and haws; he says there's one game in town (the king, Otakar, and the triple alliance). There are also 'rebels' who are not allied with them. Goradra Gap is literally inside a volcano and we would likely need dwarves from either group to lead us there.
 * Vikrit confirms that Mogen wants to fly the ship directly into the volcano after we fireproof it (or maybe shrinking it). She says of course, didn't we discuss this plan? Only Vanesse says yes. "Mogen, it's been a long day."
 * Michaelangelo is delighted by the 'gumption' of this plan. Sarienne and Tork catch Yanger looking alarmed during this; he tries to get M to calm it down, but Mogen goes HELL YEAH! and he slams his hands on the table, and colors flow out to the rest of us… and we start to dematerialize.
 * We reappear in a hedge maze.
 * Yanger and M aren't with us. The leaves of the hedges are fake; they are about 8 feet tall. There's a generic gray sky above us. Tork lifts Vik up on his Big hand and he can see the rest of the maze, and a pond, yard, and gazebo beyond. He also sees portals in some of the dead ends; he is deposited on top of the hedges. Mogen goes in a circle, and then nearly gets poked by Tork experimenting with the hand through another portal. Tork and Mogen have fun going through the portals.
 * Vesun hears something happening near the gazebo, maybe an animal scratching. He goes up to the gazebo and is compelled to move into the center of the gazebo. Mogen catches up to him and feels the urge to go in but crits on her will save. She tries to pull him back, but he pushes her aside and steps in.
 * There is a loud thundercrack as he steps in; the sky suddenly turns dark and rain starts pouring. The floor of the gazebo collapses into a maw; Vesun falls in and the Angry Gazebo twists into motion.
 * INITIATIVE!
 * Sarienne draws her shortbow and fires a shot at it. Vesun immediately dimension doors himself out (rolling a natural 20 on concentration) next to Sarienne and Vikrit. "It looked more pleasant from the outside." Vanesse runs at the gazebo with her sword. Mogen gets her grappling hook ready and notices too late that Vesun is now behind her; she tosses it in and it hooks onto the inside of the gazebo, which almost pulls her in. The gazebo tries to chomp Vanesse but misses. Vikrit panics and starts turning into a bulette. Tork lightning bolts the top of the gazebo, which starts to smolder.
 * Sarienne sidesteps away from the bulette, and uses her special gauntlets to sneak attack with the bow. Vanesse chops away at it, sending splintering wood showering. Mogen sticks a hot potato to the chain and throws it down, and it explodes inside and does minor damage. Vikrit-bulette moves forward and chomps at the gazebo but misses. Tork gives the devil horns and blasts his empowered, maximized scorching rays at the gazebo and engulfs it in flame. He waves his hand around to put it out, and Vikrit gently clamps his mouth around it to put it out. We hear Michaelangelo curse.
 * Mogen uses her Geiger counter on the pond; it is non-magical. A portal has appeared across the way, and we all enter. Vikrit is turned back into himself.
 * We find ourselves in space.
 * There are giant tentacles holding the Thieves Guild up suspended above us; we are on a chess board. Mogen, Tork, and Sarienne are pawns; Vikrit is a knight, Vanesse is a rook. We see the giant head of Yanger and Michaelangelo on either side of the board;
 * Mogen uses her gauntlets of true strike and now with her Sharp eye, fires at the King with +30--and rolls a 2. She blasts off much of the king's face off. "Hey, that's not fair! Excellent, I see you've played Wizard Chess before!" The floor underneath her opens up and she falls. Vanesse moves up next to the line of the king, tries to get to it and smacks into an invisible wall. The king moves to threaten her, and she moves away, but tries to hit the king with her special sword ability; it misses.
 * Tork casts Resilient Sphere on the King at the same time as Mogen is dropped back onto the board. She makes it to the end of the board and now her clothes look regal. She moves in line with the king but Michaelangelo uses a magical gust of air to pop the bubble. The king moves up and threatens Tork and Vanesse, and Vanesse jumps on it; however, it ends up on top of her and it slams into Tork, knocking him off the board. Sarienne attacks the king but can't hit it hard enough.
 * Tork casts Shatter on the king and it explodes. The tentacles gently lower the Thieves Guild to the ground and M says we're ready for the last phase. Another portal appears.
 * We dematerialize again and feel ourselves rushing up and forwards. We find ourselves on a floating island, without the Thieves Guild. We can see other islands.
 * There is a single tree that looks like it's dying on the island; Mogen also notices there are 4 large crystals on the island across from us and stones arranged geometrically that she thinks is for dimensional travel, and that the crystals need to be activated in order for it to work. There is an old elven woman on there as well.
 * Mogen tells the rest of us and the woman notices us. She suddenly looks afraid and runs away.