Session 38: Sarienne: To Steal a Mockingbird


 * Sarienne takes a caravan north, headed toward Marketplace, to her cousin Jerome's house.
 * She notices a scrap of torn fabric wedged in the door. She can hear the sounds of two people moving around inside… and knows Jerome lives alone, so this is odd. She moves around to the back but there's no entrance there.
 * Sarienne knocks on the door, blackjack ready. A gnome opens the door, and there's a half-orc behind him. She says she's here to give Jerome a message, he says he can take a message… she says only him or his fam can take it. He says "uh yeah I'm his brother" (he doesn't have one) and she gives him a folded parchment to sign, and bops him on the head. She threatens the half-orc and asks who they are because she knows they're lying.
 * They calm down a bit when they realize she's Jerome's family. Baylock is the gnome and Giggs is the half-orc, they say they're Jerome's friends. They don't know where Jerome is--they were supposed to meet him here too, think maybe he was delayed at the docks. S notices B's cloak is red and torn.
 * They last saw Jerome 2 days ago. They say they've heard of Sarienne's capers. B says they're trying to pull off a heist… the 3 of them are "the Thieves Guild of Marketplace". There's apparently a fancy Aundarian boat that docked recently. Giggs plays cards with sailors down by the docks - apparently one knew about something on the ship. He says he's a jeweler in his day job; Ritty was to tell Lord Darro, why don't we get this stuff from Xendrik appraised. A bauble called "bird of paradise" - gold bird with gems.
 * They say someone in a purple cloak named Lord Darro showed it to him, said they'd found it in Xendrik. The eyes of the things appear to have dragonshards in them. He gave it back to Darro, and then made a replica out of wood that's very convincing.
 * The sailor (smaller troll with hunchback named Ritti Ritti ?) said he'd cut them in on it.
 * "Is this your first?" "Well, it's not our first…"
 * They hear a knock at the door, and Jerome comes in. He and Sarienne hug, then B admits he blabbed the plan to Sarienne already. They discuss: this is Darro's personal pleasure boat with his cabin in it, holding treasures from his expeditions; boat's supposed to go downriver a bit while Darro is at a party, then go up more and dock for the night once he's back. They want to switch the fake one for the bird of paradise.
 * They need to figure out how they're going to get on the ship. They could sneak through the marsh near the mansion and take a boat out to Darro's boat, and Ritti can sneak them in.
 * They have a schematic of the boat's layout. There are some guards on the top deck, but most of the higher-up crewman are seated. There's a trash hatch underneath that Ritti can let them in. Lord Darro's quarters are in the back. The chest is apparently balanced on some kind of mechanism (probably a trap). The room will also be guarded.
 * Sarienne thinks they shouldn't try to sneak on as sailors, and she wants to go through the marsh. They'll need to hide until the boat docks later so they can get to the spot they're going to hide their horses.
 * Sarienne chats with Jerome and tells him our base got taken down by a rival gang. The other 2 seem impressed. She tells a version of the story of the gala starring her.
 * S brings up that they'll need some equipment: waterproof bag, disguise kits, something to knock out the guards. Apparently there's someone who sells love potions in town… maybe not exactly what she's looking for.
 * She asks how trustworthy Ritti is. Giggs says he kept up his end of the deal and has seemed fine so far.
 * Baylock and Giggs make a shopping list (nonlethal weapons, waterproof bags, ) and plan to head out.
 * S asks if there's anyone they can hire to cause a distraction while they board the ship… nope, the Thieves Guild is pretty much just them. Jerome heads to set up the escape route.
 * Sarienne heads to the marketplace.
 * She finds the alchemist, who tries to sell her a "beauty potion" (the "Glamor of St. Elwin") to prolong her looks for 200 gold.
 * Sarienne convinces her to sell her 2 sleeping potions for 10 gold each and a sample of the love potion. She goes and gets some more supplies, including galoshes, waterskins, and a nice evening dress.
 * The others come back from their shopping trip. Baylock is wearing some armor and has some weapons; Giggs and Jerome are just wearing normal clothes. Giggs says he's a "man of many skills" instead of a fighter. Apparently Jerome has some magical skills--he does some prestidigitation. Sarienne asks for a closed bottle of alcohol "for a distraction" for later.
 * Sarienne takes her burglar's vest (and another vest?) and Cannith goggles. She uses one of her disguise kits, and takes her blackjack and a dagger.
 * The Marketplace Thieves' Guild (DELTA SQUAD!) heads out!
 * At the marsh, there is a sunken ship with half-sunken bodies and stuff piled up on it. They head toward the rowboat. Sarienne sees something glinting in the pile of stuff; she heads toward it. There are the skeletal remains of a shark as well.
 * Sarienne gets about 1/2way through the water toward the wreck and notices a blue-tinted dagger. Suddenly there's rumbling underneath them and a big scary ankheg emerges. B & G fall over; Jerome and Sarienne keep their balance.
 * Sarienne immediately crits on the ankheg, coolly grabbing one of its mandibles and ripping down its throat, doing 30 damage in one hit. It tries to spit acid at her before it dies. Giggs, Baylock & Jerome are horrified.
 * There's ~13 gold and gems in the pile of stuff. The dagger is weighted oddly, some kind of ceremonial thing that isn't meant to be used as a weapon. S offers to split the gems; they all look surprised (but Giggs isn't as surprised because he knows they're not crazy valuable). Giggs says the dagger is part of a dwarven rite of adulthood.
 * Sarienne looks wistfully at the shark skeleton on the map and whispers, "Ghost Sharks forever!"
 * As they continue, they encounter 2 large crocodiles in the water. They decide to jump across some dirt islands. One of the crocs slowly turns toward them, the other ignores them. Jerome causes a little fireworks effect and the crocs move away.
 * Sarienne almost loses her balance getting to the next island but makes it. "You want us to jump like that?" "Well, maybe a bit better!"
 * Jerome does the same thing, Baylock does a ridiculous tumble ("you've seen Cornerio do stupid shit like this before") and lands perfectly. Giggs stares at them for a beat and trudges straight across.
 * Sarienne hops across the last one … as she gets up, she's face to face with a shambling mound. It whacks her with its vine and starts pulling her towards it. Giggs takes out a nightstick. Jerome shoots a magic missile at the mound. Baylock jumps next to them and holds out his rapier. "I don't know what I'm doing!" "DON'T THINK, JUST STAB!" (he misses)
 * Sarienne breaks free from the shambling mound and stabs the monster. Jerome magic missiles it, Baylock manages to hit it with the rapier, and Giggs has no idea what to do with his club. Sarienne gets whipped by the mound again and isn't able to hit it. Jerome runs toward them with hands glowing red and mostly destroys it with Burning Hands. It burns down as Sarienne retreats, and they high five.
 * They eventually arrive at Lord Darro's boat.
 * They climb onto the back. Ritti lets them in… he looks like a troll who has been shrunk down to medium size. He's initially suspicious of Sarienne but the others reassure him. Sarienne dumps one sleeping potion into her bottle of wine.
 * There's apparently a human guard outside Darro's room. He is, apparently, a jerk because he didn't like Ritti's mussel stew.
 * The sailors apparently won't give them trouble if they don't act out; Baylock gives Ritti some cash to presumably go pay people off.
 * Sarienne puts on her fancy dress over her vests and says her plan is to tell the guard she was hired for Darro and would pay the guard off with wine. She makes them turn around and takes her vest off to give to Jerome with the rest of her stuff.
 * They make their way through; crewmen look up when they pass but pay them no mind.
 * By the time they get there, Ritti is gone. They peek up the stairs, there's Ritti, a guard reading a book, guard equipment, cards, a second guard standing by the back.
 * The plan is for Baylock to go up with Sarienne and tell them they have the night off, give the wine. Jerome and Giggs go upstairs and talk with the formerly-reading guard, who looks annoyed. (play cards)
 * Sarienne and Baylock go upstairs, Baylock is nervous and lies very poorly and Sarienne takes over and convinces him to let her in. He tells her not to go into the other room, takes the wine and goes to the other side of the deck.
 * The room is a study. Sarienne examines the room where the treasure is being stores, there's a powerful lock in the door; discovers tiny bit of string at the bottom of the door that would have indicated a break-in; she moves it carefully.
 * After one failed attempt, Sarienne pops the lock open. They see the chest. Baylock goes and gets Jerome, who takes out a scroll (of dispel magic?) and uses it. Sarienne examines the latch, and she opens it. The bird is in there; the gems in it are more brilliant than the ones in the fake bird.
 * While Baylock holds the lid, Sarienne carefully swaps the figurines and they put everything back into place, then leave the room.
 * The 2 of them come out, and manage to get downstairs right as the guard looks over.
 * They reconvene. Giggs is disappointed; the guard had more coin he could have easily won.
 * Sarienne changes back, and all of them hide. Giggs thinks it looks legit.
 * They wait a while; they think Lord Darro is getting back on. Reddy knocks at the door and says the lord is looking for a girl. He's concerned and says they'll have to find a new location. They wait another hour or two; Baylock needs to use the bathroom in the interim.
 * There's another knock. Ritti has a sack on his back and clambers down; they get in their escape boat. After about 20 minutes of rowing they run aground.
 * Ritti motions them to follow him; they make it to a small hut. He says new plan--to follow him to the bridge. They take a while to get onto the open road. They hear a "WHOO!" behind them; Baylock is cheering. The 3 of them are very excited.
 * They eventually get to the bridge. They tie up the horses. Ritti goes inside the house nearby. Sarienne ties the bag to her horse; the others are resistant about not trusting Ritti.
 * 3 orcs come out of the house. Ritti comes out holding a greataxe. They hear the sound a cart being moved; 2 goblins with bows (and an orc with a crossbow) have blocked the bridge.
 * The orc captain tells Sarienne to come over. "Ritti, we had a deal!" "You made a deal with that guy? Ritti here? He's an idiot."
 * He asks if Sarienne has the bird of paradise on her. She tries to intimidate him and tells him they'll leave the gems and go; he doesn't take the bait.
 * Sarienne pretends to be taking out the figurine but instead takes out her pocket sand and throws it in his face. She kicks him in the chest and yells, "NOW!"
 * She jumps on the captain and gives him one last chance to call them off; he doesn't, so she rakes the dagger down his back.
 * Jerome shoots a magic missile at one of the orcs in the back and he falls down. Giggs hides, Baylock misses firing at the goblins on the cart. The captain tries to get up in front of Sarienne, and she kills him. Ritti misses an axe swing at her and the orc nearby also misses. The goblins hit Baylock twice.
 * Sarienne hits Ritti. Baylock starts bandaging. Jerome magic missiles one of the goblins off the cart. Ritti is enraged and hits her; she stabs him with the dagger and he collapses onto the ground, dropping his axe. The orc with the scimitar runs away, and before he can finish getting on his horse, Sarienne crits on him and utterly destroys him. "And the sneak attack is… 6, 6, 6… 5." (Carlos yells in the background)
 * Jerome fires off another magic missile at the goblins, and they take off running; Jerome kills one while they run.
 * They are left with a breathing, nearly-dead Ritti on the ground. "It didn't have to be this way, Ritti." "They… it did." She slits his throat.
 * Sarienne realizes that the orc captain had some sweet gauntlets on. She gives a healing potion to Baylock.
 * They sweep the bodies and the farmhouse. In the house, they find valuables worth 220 gp and a +1 shortsword.
 * They decide to stay overnight in the house and leave at first light. Sarienne dumps the bodies.
 * The next day, they pile up all the gear in the cart and Baylock & Giggs get ready to head to Fairhaven to sell the bird. Jerome waves them off and tells Sarienne that she saved their asses.
 * Jerome says he didn't want to say this in front of the others; doesn't think that was a gang; the goblins live in Marketplace working as mercs for House Tharashk. Jerome points out that someone hired them… Sarienne is concerned.
 * Jerome says he can read now, and sheepishly suggest they correspond by mail. They have a bonding moment and head back to Marketplace.
 * Baylock and Giggs manage to get 30,000 gold for everything, giving her half, 15,000 gold.
 * Baylock: "There's always honor among thieves. Yeah, that's how that goes!" They do their awkward high five and the credits roll.